Parenting

      We have been parents for three months now...and we still have absolutely no idea what we are doing. We've read a handful of great parenting books, but we've discovered that their advice is often contradicting. We are also surrounded by a fantastic support network, yet we have received dozens of different answers to each question we have asked. In the end, we've been forced to rely on our own instincts because parenting is simply not all black and white. God created Aliyah to be a beautifully unique individual, meaning she is never going to perfectly conform to what the books say. Sometimes we feel like we're awesome at parenting or that we've finally figured her out...and other times we feel like we've completely failed. Nevertheless, we feel thoroughly blessed to be able to learn and grow in our new life with Aliyah.

      One challenge that we did not anticipate is how much we would be affected by the tension between Moroccan and American parenting styles. Living directly above a Moroccan family, we been forced to wrestle with this cultural difference more than most:

• We hear "hashouma" (shame on you) each time we take Aliyah near an open refrigerator/window, or when we take her for a walk outside (regardless of how bundled up she seems to be).

• After hearing Aliyah cry for the first time, we received a lecture about how Nicole needed to ensure that she was switching sides when nursing because "one side contains water and the other side contains milk". They were concerned that Aliyah was not getting enough of one or the other. 

• We were told that we needed to put mascara and eye-liner on Aliyah in order to ensure that she grows up with dark features.

• We were encouraged to feed Aliyah over-sweetened mint tea almost immediately after she was born. 

• We received a shocked reaction to the fact that Aliyah sleeps in her own room, by herself. We were advised to let her sleep in bed with us each night instead. 

     We love our Moroccan friends, and we value their experience and wisdom; however, there will always be points of disagreement that they will never fully understand since they lack familiarity with our American culture. We've gotten really good about gracefully accepting their judgements and their well-intended words of advice. We've also tried to find humor in the cultural differences, as opposed to being frustrated by them. And in spite of our contrastive perspectives on parenting, we still consider our Moroccan friends to be "family". They love Aliyah just as much as we do.

     We may have absolutely no idea how to be parents, but we must be doing something right because Aliyah is growing well and has developed quite the personality. At three months old: She can belch and fart louder than most grown men, and she smiles all the time. She loves to stare at bright lights, her giraffe toys, and our Christmas tree (yep, it's still up). She spends the first 30 minutes of her day watching/smiling at Dave as he gets ready for work, and she spends at least 5 minutes "talking" to him when he gets home from work each day. We love her a lot, and we're pretty sure she loves us too. :)

1st time rolling over - caught on camera!

-David, Nicole, & Aliyah